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So for a while now, my wife Lisa – who teaches at, and also acts as Administrator of, a private school for dyslexic children – has been trying to work herself to death. Her church is important to her, so besides her duties as worship leader at the contemporary service, she was convinced to head the Evangelism Committee (which needed “new blood”). Then she was asked to teach third grade Sunday School. At each of these, i would sigh and say, “Oh good. You have so much time on your hands, you needed a hobby.”

So she received a phone call a few weeks ago from an old friend – one of my old flames, in point of fact – who was directing a show and needed an actress. Lisa had been pining for the stage for quite some time, so I knew how important it was to her. So I would play single parent at night for a while – no big thing at all.

This is, it turns out, A Sherlock Holmes play, and Lisa was asked to play Irene Adler, or as Holmes and his fans know her, “The Woman”. It’s an interesting combination of William Gilette’s sturdy old warhorse of a play, a couple of penny dreadful set-ups, and “The Final Problem”. And word came back to me, via Lisa, that there was a problem: the actor playing Moriarty was not very good – he wasn’t “getting it”.

How can one “not get” Moriarty, for God’s sake? If Adler is “The Woman”, Moriarty is “The Villain”. THE Villain. The only way the role could be better, more self-explanatory, would be if for some reason Moriarty was wearing Dr. Doom’s armor!

So Thursday night I received a phone call while sitting down to dinner with my family – the actor had been fired. Would I please take over the role?

So. I now have two weeks to opening. Guess I needed a hobby, too.

01. Soul Experience – Iron Butterfly
02. My Ashes – Porcupine Tree
03. Dark Continent – Scott Fitzgerald
04. My Baby Loves Lovin’ – White Plains (again, a heckuva segue)
05. Adam & Eve – October Project
06. Reload – Rob Zombie
07. I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You – Elvis
08. Adiemus – Adiemus
09. Take A Chance on Me – ABBA
10. Cheek to Cheek – Frank Sinatra

April 7, 2007
Categories: Life's Rich Pageant . . Author: drfreex . Comments: 4 Comments

As Ray Smuckles would say, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!” Ofttimes my morbid habit of clicking “Obituaries in the News” over my morning coffee bears bitter fruit; in this case, the news that film director Robert Clark, along with his son, was killed in a car wreck yesterday. The other car was apparently driving under the influence and swerved into Clark’s lane.

Clark is reviled in some quarters as the director of crimes against humanity like Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things and Baby Geniuses, not to mention the seminal Porky’s movies (alright, I admit to being entertained by Porky’s 2, but that had Shakespeare in it, fer pete’s sake. But, let us hasten to add, he also directed the equally seminal Black Christmas and one of my favorite Sherlock Holmes movies, Murder by Decree.

The suddenness of the death was a shock, of course, but what surprised me even more was Clark’s inclusion in the list, taken from the AP wire, if I’m not mistaken. Usually the names are complete strangers to me, football players, diplomats, trustees of various universities – but it’s rare that people I know of via my love of genre entertainment appear there. I had to find out about writer Arnold Drake’s passing via Mark Evanier’s blog.

Then I realized: Clark directed A Christmas Story, which I believe is still shown for 24 hours on TNT every Christmas. So for once, it appears the man belongs to more than just myself and a band of geeks.

In any case: R.I.P. Bob. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

April 5, 2007
Categories: Life's Rich Pageant . . Author: drfreex . Comments: 1 Comment

I actually had a fairly positive experience last weekend. Came home to find out I had been tapped to produce a short script THAT EVENING for performance THAT SUNDAY. I bitched, I did it, had it e-mailed out by 10 pm and was hailed as a genius. It performed well, and was judged by many to be a high point of the morning.

So I reflected on this, and remembered reading an article by Tom Robbins, long, long ago. He related how one day he decided he wanted to see the pyramids, so he “asked the Universe for a ticket to Egypt.” that afternoon, Playboy called and asked him to cover the Grateful Dead concert at Giza.

So this morning I asked the Universe for more of that. “I need some paying work like that, writing and performing, what I like to do, what I am good at doing.”

This afternoon, I got a phone call from Mystery Cafe, the dinner theater I quit in exasperation several years ago, asking me to fill in this weekend in a technically demanding role I originated six years ago, and have not performed in nearly three.

Universe, you’re an asshole.

March 26, 2007
Categories: Life's Rich Pageant . . Author: drfreex . Comments: 2 Comments