I Tell You This

The Great Outdoor Fight may very well be this generation’s Iliad.

Absolutely no one asked for this, but here it is anyway. I mentioned earlier that synchronicity is one of the few things that makes life worth living… so what are the other things?


1. Absurdly bad movies.

2. Gazangas

3. General Tso’s Chicken.

4. …

I’m still workin’ on it.


  1. I always spelled it “Gazongas.” But otherwise, I agree.

  2. Well, if it were my list it’d have Joe Meek music on it…

  3. 4. Asiago cheese bagels.5. Bubble wrap.

  4. 6. Cheese in general.7. MP3s and JPGs.8. Daleks.9. Achewood.

  5. 10. “Believe it or not this movie’s still on! It should have ended two hours ago!” 11. Gucamole12. Grover 13. B-fest

  6. 14. Doo-wop15. Reggae (1966-1974, generally)16. Scott Barth, who I have known since we were both 13. We’re pretty much heterosexual life partners.

  7. And yet, has he ever been to B-Fest, Tim?

  8. I ask him every year in a ritualized ceremony so formal that it would make a Japanese dude cry.Me: Scott, you should totally go to B Fest this year.Scott: No.Me: Okay, then.

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