I Sing the Experience Life-Wasting

Ah, youth, sweet youth. That joyful time when I regularly tackled the tough stuff. And by tackling the tough stuff, I mean reading the really thick books. You know. Ulysses. Remembrance of Things Past. Gravity’s Rainbow. Nova Express (which wasn’t thick but was no less scarring). Yes, by God, I was stretching my mind.

And truthfully, I remember very little from any of them, outside of enjoying them. Proust, especially. Maybe I stretched out the brain cells too much (though admittedly, not purely through literature. Chemicals may have been involved).

But you know what I do remember, with great clarity? The death of Jean Grey. Doctor Doom killing his right hand man rather than let him destroy the art treasures of Europe in an attempt to kill the Fantastic Four. I remember when Terra betrayed the Teen Titans.

If you look back over the card catalog of everything I’ve read in my life, this would not surprise you. By fourth grade I had chewed my way through most everything H.G. Wells and Jules Verne had to offer, but I had also read through almost the entire Tom Swift, Jr. series as well as every Doc Savage reprint paperback Bantam could toss on the market. This is pulp, you might say, this is trash.

To which I say, pfui. Big Deal.

I’m past the age of being evangelical about what I like. I’m also long past the age of being apologetic about it. And into the age where, if you ridicule me about it, I can smile easily, gently urge you to commit a physically impossible act, and then command you to get off my lawn.

I loves the funny books, you see. If you don’t, that’s fine. But you’re prolly gonna get bored here very quickly.

Funny books are what enabled me to read Verne, Wells, Heinlein and that damned nightmare-inducing Alfred Hitchcock’s Monster Museum while my classmates were still struggling to step outside Dr. Seuss. My grandmother read to me every day from comic books when I was wee – Herbie was a big favorite – and thus did I learn to read before my first day of school.

There was a brief attempt to stop me from reading comics early on, fearful that I wouldn’t read “real” books – but that turned out to be a groundless fear. Sickly child that I was, reading was one of the few pursuits I could easily perform. I loved books. Still do. Love the smell of them, the feel of them, heavy in my hand. Love the portability. No batteries required.

I find myself gadget-curious about the Kindle. But I hunger for the smell of dusty paper, and the tactile joy of physically turning that page of pressed wood and dead ink. I don’t think an e-reader will ever truly be for me.

For one thing, I don’t think comics will read especially well on them.

It’s like one of those sudden conversion stories they love in evangelical circles. You see, I once hated on those “Marvel Essential” and “Showcase Presents” phone books. They don’t have color! Where is my four-color fury? Bah!

Of course, then came the day I saw Marvel Essential X-Men Vol. 3 at Half-Price Books and figured “What the hell.” What the hell indeed. Not to diss any of the hard working colorists who labored in the trenches all those years, but the color was the least of the strengths of these stories, and I have gotten really hooked on an easy, affordable way to read through huge hunks of history.

To digress – which surely you’ve come to expect from me by now – These days, the computer-driven coloring in comics is extraordinary. There is a recent re-issue of the Stan Lee/Jack Kirby Tales of Asgard in which the only change made was re-coloring, using modern methods, and the result is gorgeous to behold. I like to think Kirby would have approved whole-heartedly.

This is too long already, and I have rambled so far afield from what I originally intended to say, I hear search parties in the distance trying to find that intent. More on what I’ve been reading and why in the days ahead, I hope.

You know how I love going on and on about stuff nobody cares about.

Status Report, Mr. Chekov

Yeah, I didn’t know if I was coming back, either.

In all the trials and drama and blah blah connected to my extended period of unemployment, there eventually reached a time of sweaty desperation when, if one were to be exceptionally kind (or to indulge in more than a little whitewashing) anything that did not involve finding work or making some sort of money had to go by the wayside.

Let’s get real. The truth of the matter is, depression was the flavor of the day and it was on clearance. There was a 10 foot doom field radiating from yours truly. So really, nothing was getting done, and I’m pretty sure I was not pleasant company.

That all changed in early February, when I caught wind of a part-time job at the local campus of Houston Community College. True, it was part-time, but hell, certainly better than nothing; they wanted to see a demo reel of my video work. I had thought that such things were past me, since most of my work happened in another decade, which causes most producers to suddenly become very interested in something else happening in another room. Nonetheless, I scraped together what I had, managed to actually get the stuff from VHS tapes – how primitive! – to DVD. And I guess they liked what they saw, because they hired me.

The official title is Media Videographer. What this means is every week I turn in a five minute story of either local interest or related to the college. I research it, make the contacts, shoot it, write it, edit it and it goes on the weekly newscast of Stafford Municipal Educational TV, Comcast Channel 16.

Which means it is only seen by those residents of the tiny suburb of Stafford who are also Comcast subscribers. That doesn’t even include me, since one of the things that got lost during the tribulations was cable TV.

I try not to dwell too hard on the shouting-into-a-deaf-teacup aspect of this; it is a job, and an enjoyable one, at that. I work with nice, likable people who don’t mind too much that I am a Mac noob (Final Cut Pro is amazing, incidentally), and basically learn one Hard Lesson a week.

We’re a curious hybrid here, a partnership between the college and the city; most of the other Channel 16s seem to be creatures of either the city or the college, either Municipal or Educational, but us, we’re both. That actually allows us some unusual freedom, mixed in with a lot of strange shibboleths, as there are two bureaucracies involved.

And here we are in the summer. The college is eerily underpopulated, and the part-time staff’s hours have been cut down. (Disappointing, yes, but the alternative was laying someone off for the summer, and since that someone would have been me….). Hand in hand with that, the weekly newscast becomes a monthly newsmagazine during the summer, and filling in those hours can be… tricky.

So currently, in between trying to get someone in authority at a local museum to call me back so I can start on next month’s story, and transferring old VHS tapes of programming onto DVD, I find myself… O most pernicious neologism! … cyberslacking. And now the network is down, so here I am roughing out a blog entry. What a country!

Geekboys REPRESENT!

I await the premiere of the Watchmen movie with trepidation. First, I didn’t care for 300, and I loved Frank Miller’s original almost as much as I love the Moore/Gibbons Watchmen. Then again, I found much to like in Zack Snyder’s version of Dawn of the Dead…

Then, it seems (if the innernets can be believed) Snyder fought to keep the parallel comic story of The Black Freighter in the movie – though God knows how. It has apparently been cut, and will surface in the inevitable deluxe DVD version, released six months after the initial bare-bones release. Not that I’m a bitter consumer, or anything.

Then, it is apparently common knowledge that the ending of the story has been changed. On the one hand, I can hope to be surprised by this new ending. On the other hand, how can a new ending hope to match the punch-in-the-gut impact of the original? On the mutant other, third hand, I will be glad that I will not be subjected to endless misspelled tirades on those same innernets that Watchmen totally ripped off the first season of Heroes, dude. Bad enough we’re going to be getting enough of what the webcomic The Rack so insightfully predicts.

The viral video campaign has begun, and though it’s about as tepid as the fake news segments for The Dark Knight, it still shows promise:

As usual, I reserve judgment until I see it with my own myopic peepers. But hell, I’m the guy who had nice things to say about Robocop II.

Well, I Couldn’t Leave You Hanging…


O Wow Whippee!

Things Once Seen, Never Unseen

So, in my current status of At Liberty, it is my job to pick up The Boy from school at 3:00. This is the same school my wife runs, but by removing The Boy from those environs, it gives her a bit of peace as she stays after school and continues her quest to work herself to death.

Once we arrive at home, it is usually his turn to put in some time on City of Heroes, while I discover there is nothing on TV. Well, today’s random surfing proved me wrong, as I watched a Korean children’s show called, if the online guide is to be believed, Captain Poong Poong. The tile character seems to split his time between being a cartoon and a diminutive person in a suit. Poong Poong and his human sidekick were teaching Korean children how to play ice hockey while singing and dancing.

This is not particularly noteworthy. What is particular noteworthy is that Captain Poong Poong apparently can achieve anything by the awesome power of his magical farts. Yes. Computer generated and enhanced farts.

I can only weep that YouTube has failed me here. If there was anything that site was meant for, it was giving me the means to regale you with a demented cartoon character and its glittering flatulence.

It does, however, via other clips, suggest that “poong” may translate as “wind”, which makes sense under the circumstances. It also, due to the Other Related Searches, remind me of how much I miss Bob Keeshan and Captain Kangaroo.

This came up, of course, from the proximity of “Captain” and something the search engine could interpret as “ping pong”.

There’s been a grass roots movement to put out some Captain DVDs, but they’ve met with no cheer. Captain Kangaroo, as I recall, used a lot of different media on his show, and I imagine just getting the rights for all the childrens’ books he read would be a nightmare.

But my last question is, if I can own a DVD set with the entirety of UPA’s less-than-glorious Dick Tracy cartoon from my childhood, where is this being hidden:

Redemption

Last night, The Boy chose Jason and the Argonauts. Maybe I’ll keep him.

Also, I will not be letting him see this trailer.

Ups and Downs of the Day

First of all – it seems that Columbia has bought the movie rights to Isaac Asmov’s Foundation stories, and the director tapped is Roland Emmerich.

To wash the taste of that out of your mouth… well, this worked for me, anyway:

As one of the three people who read this blog, you likely know about the recent issue of Amazing Spider-Man (#583, to be exact), in which President Elect (at the time) Obama makes an appearance. Blogger J. Caleb Mozzocco over at Newsarama posts in his Linkarama section:

“I swear to God this is the most often a black man has appeared on the cover of a superhero comic since they canceled Power Man & Iron Fist back in the 80s”: The Stranger’s Paul Constant on you-know-what, in a piece entitled “Everybody Knows Obama First Appeared in ROM Spaceknight #53.” I’d go double-check that in my copy of Essential ROM Spaceknight Vol. 3, but it doesn’t exist because there is no justice in the world.

Well, it made me laugh,

How Sharper Than A Serpent’s Tooth

Okay, that’s who I forgot, in my listing of the genre-related recently dead: Ray Dennis Steckler. Sorry, sir.

Now…

My son, apparently tired of his former diet of non-stop Cartoon Network series and painfully unfunny Disney Network tween sitcoms, has taken to raiding my DVD collection for entertainment, since I finally alphabetized the damn things.

First of all, forget black and white. I ran into this a lot at B-Fest. Apparently the modern young mind cannot operate in grayscale. There’s a hook to a cautionary sci-fi tale in there somewhere…

After the obvious stuff, like my animation discs, and all five seasons of Babylon 5 (I did warn him about Season 5, but you know kids: all 6 feet tall and bulletproof), it’s a little harder for him to find stuff that I’ll let him watch at his age level. He’s ten, but functioning at a teen level on most things except the hormones. (Yeah, I’m looking forward to that, he said in a monotone.)

I have an entire shelf devoted to Sherlock Holmes books and movies, so he decided it was time to watch one of those. We sat and watched the first of the Granada Series starring Jeremy Brett, “A Scandal in Bohemia”. At the end of the episode, his only response was a sigh and “That was long,” At an hour. Guess we won’t be watching more of those.

Then, today, he decided he had to watch the Halle Berry Catwoman. response after viewing: “Is there a sequel?”

How have I not disinherited this changeling yet?

Scarecrow, Scarecrooooooow…

I’ve had this song running through my head for the last month. Your turn.

Rest In Peace, Mr. McGoohan. You done good.

Tough Week

Well, it was a rough month plus for aging fanboys like me. Back in December we lost Forrest J. Ackerman, Bettie Page, Beverly Garland, Eartha Kitt. For the theatrically minded, there was Harold Pinter and Dale Wasserman. Probably several more that slip my mind. Sorry.

So this week, thus far: Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan. McGoohan is especially poignant for me, right now; I asked for and (barely) received for Christmas the Walt Disney Treasures edition of Dr. Syn, the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh, which, to borrow a phrase from my pal Parker, Looms Large in My Legend.

In early 1964, I was in the hospital on one of my deathbed visits – not the most serious one, the one where the docs advised my mother I would not survive, or if I did, I would be a vegetable for the rest of my days, that would wait a couple of years – but one of the most memorable things about that stay was the initial TV appearance of The Scarecrow, broken up into three consecutive weeks.

I don’t think I was in the hospital that time for three whole weeks, but I like to say that I refused to die, because I wanted to see how the story played out. That is also pure bullshit, but damn, it makes a great anecdote. I do remember asking my mother to make me a Scarecrow costume for that Halloween… which I never got.

So I felt I had a special claim to this DVD. I say I “barely” got it, because apparently Disney is quite serious – and infamous – for taking the “limited” in “Limited Edition” entirely too seriously, and the thing was out of print the week it shipped, or something. My poor wife was frazzled trying to track a copy down, and it finally came down to recruiting me for the search. I love the hunt. I find a copy misfiled as “Drama” at my local Fry’s (where I swear every time I walk in I’m going to reorganize the movie section for @#$%! free), and my Christmas is Merry one.

I had looked to reviewing it for 50 Foot DVD, when I found out about its unavailable status… but now, with the review almost completely written, it seems a bit foolish to just toss it away.

Anyway.

Ran out of unemployment compensation this week. Registered for the emergency stuff. A job I applied for in October called me in for an interview in December – a good one – and said they’d be Making their decision in January. I write and e-mail once a week to keep my name on their desk. I hate this.

Anyway.

The re-reading of Cerebus is a dicey thing in this first volume, where most of the stories are self-contained, and, in my current state of Marvel Overdose, reading pastiches of Roy Thomas/Barry Smith Conan stores with an aardvark as the main character is still a little too close to Marvel. It is very fun, though, as I progress, to see Sim finding his feet, for the art to tighten up and slowly leave the Smith influence. The story and character work still lean toward the lampoonish, but the parody is becoming better executed, as Sim starts to actually embrace the satire for what it is, not simply as a tool to deflate barbarian comics standards. I just finished the two issue arc concerning The Cockroach, Sim’s first parody of superheroes, and the writer/artist is obviously starting to have real fun.

And one last thing for a rambling post. I mentioned I recently re-read Rick Veitch’s The One, one of the first revisionist superhero books, and in the back of my collected volume is a Round Table discussion by Tom Veitch, Neil Gaiman, and Stephen Bissette about said revisionist superhero books. In it, Gaiman asks, “I wonder, in the wake of the Batman movie, how long it will be before some idiot puts on a cape and goes out to fight crime?” The collection, and the discussion are dated 1989, so Gaiman is talking about the Tim Burton/Michael Keaton Batman. It took twenty years and five more Batman movies, but they walk among you.

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