On the Other Hand…

Last week, I got to walk into a crowded meeting room, open up my notebook computer and say, “Alright, you have me for a half hour. What’s up?”

It was sort of like being Tony Stark. Except for the whole good-looking technological genius superhero billionaire alcoholic thing.

On the other hand, I solved all their problems, so I guess the “superhero” thing isn’t entirely out of line.

Ooooh, I get arrogant when I’m tired, don’t I?


  1. Next time, you should wear the purple robe and the helmet, and say, “Gentlemen…BEHOLD!”Then, when you’re done, you say, “It’s not different at all, is it, Steve!”

  2. Working in the dog-eat-dog office enviroment at Technicolor,I believe I might be able to give you a few tips on the whole “Meeting” process:1.) Carry a celphone. Have someone (anyone) call you about two minutes after you enter the room:“Hold on….I gotta take this. Yeah, I’m here……NO! I told you….I want this done YESTERDAY! Okay…G’bye.Alrighty….where were we?”This manuever will disorient and confuse the others in the room….they will either think you must be in a position in life where their paltry problems are meaningless to you and basically you’re here to get the job done and go home (the “Back Off,Man…I’m a Scientist” approach), or…they will suddenly think you have more confidence than you actually have and think twice about messing with you.2.) Sit quietly listening to whatever they have to say, nodding…..only every once and a while, look to the person to the side of whoever’s talking….and give ’em a smile like yer the cat that ate the canary. Sly and slightly smarmy. Trust me…it give the fuckers the willies. This approach works best when superiors are irate and discussing displinary actions for something you screwed up. There’s no better retort to a good verbal thrashing than just acting calm and sickeningly polite, give the facial equivelant of the airline stewardess’ glad-hand and smile. It’s creepier than hell…

  3. If you were Tony Stark, we’d have a black helicopter pilot writing The Bad Movie Report by now.

  4. Don’t you be dissin’ Rhodey, now.

  5. I would never diss Rhodey. Granted, you may not know a black helicopter pilot, but that’s okay. We’ll just introduce you to one now and pretend you’ve known him all along. And after a few months of writing the Bad Movie Report he’ll probably change the title to “The Kill Zone” or something.

  6. Waitaminnit….wouldn’t he have to aquire a drinking problem first to get the complimentary afro-centric helicopter pilot to take over the armor….er…site?This may be the solution to your problems….just start hittin’ the jug…

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