Uber Goober

Just before the Christmas holidays, I received an e-mail from an old college bud, Dave Bennett, of whom I’d lost track. Totally my fault, and I’m glad he took the time to track me down again. Dave and I whiled away a lot of hours in my misspent youth, gaming. He and I were known as “The Listerine Brothers”, because when we co-dungeon mastered, people tended to die. We did not reward stupidity.

What’s that? Oh, yes, I used to play Dungeons & Dragons. Quite a bit. I’m one of those wheezing old derelicts who mutters that when he played the game, there were only three little books of rules, stapled together with brown cardstock covers. And that was the way we liked it, by cracky!

Yeah, I got out of the D&D habit the year before I left college, probably – not coincidentally – the year Dave left town. It just wasn’t fun anymore, the panoply of new hardbound rules were squeezing much of the spontaneity out of the game. But that’s neither here nor there. What matters was an offhand remark by Dave that he was in a movie about gamers called Uber Goober. I ordered it that very night.

Uber Goober is a video documentary by Austinite Steve Metze which does a damn good job of examining gaming culture via interviews and footage of gaming-in-process. Dave represents the old school contingent, the guys who painstakingly paint armies of miniature soldiers from all eras and then arrange them on massive tabletops to re-enact (and improve upon) historic battles, and create some battlefield scenarios of their own. The picture then spends a lot of time with the pen-and-paper RPGs like D&D, before moving on to the LARPers. That’s Live Action Role Players, for the acronym-impaired. Or as Dave puts it, “the people who don’t think the Society for Creative Anachronism goes far enough.”

I don’t know if it’s odd or perfectly reasonable that the Vampire: The Masquerade LARPers come off as more civilized and reasonable in their pursuit than the D&Ders, and frankly, I can use my brain cells on better things right now. What I find all-too-typical is on display in Metze’s connective structure, which consists of him interviewing people at random on Austin’s main drag one night, the major question being, “What do you think of people who play Dungeons & Dragons?” The responses are predictably extreme, and rarely good.

But the single most disturbing thing is a section devoted to fundamentalist Christian groups that oppose games like D&D (including frames from the infamous Jack Chick tract Dark Dungeons). Now, I’m used to a lot of the rhetoric in this section (and one of them seems to have his J.R.R. Tolkien mixed up with his C.S. Lewis), but one guy – who rather proudly professes himself to be a former gamer, until he saw the light – is incredibly hung-up on rape in a game milieu. He brings it up twice in one interview. I gamed for many years, and though I joked with my live-in lover and fellow player several times, rape never entered into the game, any game, no matter who the DM was, and my experience includes several major tournaments, conventions, and cities.

I may just be an old geezer, but I don’t want my kid anywhere near that guy. Or his church group.

So, anyway – Uber Goober. I didn’t learn anything particularly new from it, but then, it’s a documentary about stuff I’ve spent large amounts of my life doing. I direct those wondering what the hell I blither about on occasion to the movie; it’s a very good examination of the culture, and you want to know what your kid or significant other is getting into, you could do a whole lot worse than this entertaining primer.

Christmas Spectres Approaching III

My old friend Morticia of Morticia’s Morgue sent me the link to this Scared of Santa photo gallery. She points out that in #7, “Santa looks like he’s got a heck of a hangover.” I personally think #8, which is from 1949, looks like one of those creepy “ghost photos” you see in Fortean Times, with the patently fake jolly old elf supplying the ghost.

Ghost of Christmas Past, Indeed. Posted by Hello

The best thing about this gallery, besides the satisfying schadenfreunde, is the amazing variety of Santas in evidence. Those who are obviously genuine oldsters with entirely real beards are the best ones, of course, but this also a photo gallery of hideously fake beards, ranging from hunks of cotton batting to what appears to be plastic. No wonder the tots are screaming.

Premonitions

One of the best things about the craze of DVD Box Sets containing entire seasons of TV series is the ability to sit down with old friends and get acquainted again. In this particular case I’m talking about the original Outer Limits series, which is available in two boxes from MGM. When I’ve been working late and feel the need to unwind in front of the tube, but a movie would take too long, an episode of OL is perfect at about 48 minutes in length. The show had some glorious high notes; it also had some dismal failures. I find myself revisiting the oddest entries…

You see, I was only a child when the series first ran, and the series generally terrified me, especially in the grim, darker first season. I rediscovered it as a teenager in south Texas when the CBS affiliate in Corpus Christi started showing it on weekend afternoons. It would crop up occasionally in syndication through the 80s, then a black-and-white anthology series suddenly became the kiss of death for programming. Somewhere in there, the infomercial was invented, too, but we are not here to discuss Satanic activity today.

So, now having access to all those episodes, instead of hoping and waiting for broadcast schedules and free time to coincide, do I visit award-winning stories, like Harlan Ellison’s “Soldier” and “Demon With A Glass Hand”? Do I visit the surreal, elegaic “Shape of Things Unknown” episode/pilot film? Do I once again watch Macbeth in sci-fi drag as “The Bellero Shield”? Do I bupkiss. I watch the episodes that scared me as a kid.

Robert Duvall as a government agent disguised as a crash-landed alien in “The Chamelion” (still pretty freaky). “Fun and Games”, starring Nick Adams and those freaky boar-faced aliens with the saw-toothed boomerang(ditto). And the terrifying beastie in “It Crawled Out of the Woodwork”, now revealed as a simple three-frame animation with a hell of a freaky sound design. Given the relatively harmless things that scared me as a kid, I guess I should be thankful I didn’t see “The Zanti Misfits” back then – I might not have survived.

One episode that didn’t send me screaming to the next room was from the second season – “The Premonition” – and it was with some interest that I sat down and watched it for the first time in – what? Forty years, at least?

It held up better than others, which is not to say there weren’t holes my older, weaker eyes discovered. The story concerns a test pilot who flies an experimental rocket plane at Mach 6, somehow breaking the time barrier and creating a chronal sonic boom that projects himself and his wife – so startled by the incipient crash of his plane, that she was in the process of smashing their car into a boulder – into a limbo state 10 seconds into the future. Everything seems to them frozen in place (as if they were photos, hmmmm…). Investigation proves that everything else around them is moving, just very slowly, at the rate of an hour (to them) for every second passed.

It’s here that the “bear” – the mandatory monster of the week, the basis for the network picking up the series – shows up. Filmed in negative, it’s merely a man, another person unstuck in time, who didn’t get back in place when time caught up with him. He intends to take the place of either the pilot or the wife and escape his prison of “endless nothingness”. One of the problems with the script is that this menace is dealt with very quickly, and never shows up again. Most of the tension in the episode derives from their daughter, left at the Air Force base’s nursery, who has slipped from her keeper and is now in imminent danger of being killed by a runaway truck when time snaps back into place.

The series’ low budget is in very sharp focus through much of the episode – the obvious photographs, the entire teaser before the opening credits and much of the first ten minutes is stock footage… and time is eaten up as the pilot and wife run back and forth between the crash site and the base, over and maddeningly over again. The wife’s character is in keeping with the era, alas, having to be slapped out of a panic, deferring to her husband when she’s not imploring him to do something. There were a number of strong female characters in the series, but she, unfortunately, is not one of them.

Still, it’s a very novel concept, and one which stayed with me for years and years; characters having to puzzle out an incomprehensible situation crops up over and over again in my writing. I’m glad I finally got to see it again, and am intrigued by the possibility that it had much more to do with shaping my creative endeavors than I had originally thought.