Everybody’s Doing Marvel Posts

…just in case you hadn’t noticed. Consider this your permission to click elsewhere. I understand.

I’m still dealing with writer’s block… well, perhaps not block, but writer’s naaaaaaah I don’t wanna! with a soupçon of agonizing over whether that’s because I’m better medicated these days and not thinking about death every 30 seconds instead of sex. I had a very unique – at least for me – moment a few weeks back when I paused and thought, “Hey. I feel absolutely normal.” It was uncanny in a very calm way.

Yikes!

I have a Crapfest to write up, but even the pressure of that is not enough to pry me from my hour or so of playing an RPG featuring cute anime girls every night. And realistically, after nine years of piecemeal part-time labor, the last 8 months of suddenly working 8 hours a day, if not more, takes a toll.

So with that as a backstory, let’s launch into the preamble major: As most of you know, I perform in a murder mystery show on the weekends, along with one of my oldest theater friends who lives nearby. We carpool to the show every week, and last Saturday we fell to talking about the Marvel movies. This was triggered by one of the actresses (who insists on telling us each week how much her life sucks, including the insane traffic between Houston and her beach house, gaaaaawwww!!) saying how much she hated Endgame, sight unseen, because it was all her students would talk about all week.

My friend, however, had already found out about Fat Thor and was intrigued. He had tried to watch Infinity War on Netflix and wasn’t impressed, because he hadn’t seen any of the former movies (yes, such people still exist), and I replied of course, he had no emotional stakes in it. He mentioned he had read an article that said you only needed to watch four movies to be up to speed for Endgame. Not being a complete geek like myself, he couldn’t remember any of the movies they chose, and I started mulling over what four movies that could possibly fit the bill. Googling when I got home I found lists of eight and eleven, so that four thing I chalk up to rank optimism.

In case you forgot.

Speaking of rank optimism: he thought he’d be able to find them all on Netflix. I laughed so hard I nearly drove us off the road.

This week the weather in Texas has been giving us lots of ammo to unload on climate change deniers, which meant just about every shoot I had scheduled for work got cancelled, so I sat in my dry office while biblical rains raged outside and did what nerds do: I got evangelical, and wrote up my list with annotations.

And now I’ve probably scared my friend off entirely.

But let’s start. I tried to do this in chronological order of the Infinity Saga arc. I’ve also added more notes, because that is what I do. On the list I sent him, there were no notes for movies essential to the storyline, because that’s how I roll. He didn’t find out about Fat Thor from me.

Gonna try to be as spoiler-free as possible.

* = “Contains Infinity Stone”

Skippable movies say so in the closest to Thanos purple WordPress could give me.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER – I saw a graphic on Reddit where votes were taken and this movie wound up on the absolute bottom of the list, causing me to utter what the absolute fuck in my workplace. Fortunately, they are used to such outbursts from me and likely thought I just needed more coffee. This was one of the most solid Marvel flicks in Phase One, and it kickstarts the whole Infinity Stones thing. And I hate people.

CAPTAIN MARVEL * – comes out on home video in June, which is fortunate for my friend, as he doesn’t intend to start this binge until the Summer. Takes place in the 90s, and the post-credits scene won’t make much sense, seen in this order. As a period piece, you could probably slot it in anywhere in the viewing order. Marvel sure seemed to think so.

IRON MAN – This is where you have to start making tough decisions. It can be considered skippable, unless you’re a Robert Downey Jr. fan. BUT. It has enormous historical significance. It introduces the supporting cast from the comic book, complete with early 60s comic book names: Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts. Jim Rhodes (Rhodey), was introduced later in the series, so he’s spared that cuteness. First of the now-mandatory post-credits scenes, introducing Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and the Avengers Initiative.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK – ultra-skippable. Even the other movies ignore this one. (I don’t mind it, but it’s obvious they hadn’t quite figured out their formula yet)

IRON MAN 2 – My least favorite MCU movie, and therefore skippable. It’s a mess, story-wise; this baby was rushed to the screen, and it shows. Absent a time-proven template, panicky studio interference really cripples it as it jams lead-up materials to The Avengers in any available orifice, and makes them when it can find none. Does introduce the Black Widow and Agent Coulson, though. And Rhodey confiscates an Iron Man suit to become, briefly, the Iron Patriot, and eventually War Machine. Pretty good finish, but often a slog to get there. I’m also assured it’s better than I remember.

THOR – Can be reluctantly skipped, if necessary (I’m always amazed that a movie that takes place on three different worlds still feels so small). Introduces his supporting characters, though, who will get a workout in the next Thor flick.

AVENGERS – Let’s get this damn ball rollin’. This movie and Iron Man made my wife into an MCU geek. Team comics are my favorite comics, so you can bet I love this one. 

IRON MAN 3 – Could be skipped, but if you skip all the Iron Man movies simply because they don’t advance the Infinity Saga, you are hobbling a major part of that saga, which is the Steve Rogers/Tony Stark dichotomy. And this is such a good movie. PTSD is a running thread through the saga, and Tony Stark is definitely suffering it after the events of AVENGERS.

THOR: THE DARK WORLD * – everybody seems to hate this one, but I like it, and I totally loved Endgame calling back on it hard. Far as I’m concerned, Jane Foster took up with Richard after Thor split again after Ultron. Richard seems like a very nice guy.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER – on the other hand, everyone loves this one while I’m kind of meh on it. Superb action film – the Marvel formula completely gels here. No Infinity Stones, but major changes that will affect the following movies.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY – You know, when I left the theater after seeing this, I felt the same lightness as when I left my first viewing of Star Wars back in ’77. That is no small thing. We start seriously leaning into the Infinity Stones. I think Ronan the Accuser would gain a fair amount of resonance and menace by being able to watch Captain Marvel earlier in the order.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON – Another ragged-on movie. Bah and phooey on the haters. I admit it has much the same problem of Iron Man 2, in shoe-horning in seeds for future movies, then cutting those segments back for time (three hour Marvel movies were not yet a thing). 

ANT-MAN – Sorry Paul Rudd, but skippable if you’re pressed for viewing time. The Ant-Man movies have the lightest tone of all the Marvel movies, so if you’re tired of HUGE EXPLOSIONS and COSMIC CALAMITIES and PEOPLE DYING BY THE HUNDREDS they’re actually quite refreshing.

DOCTOR STRANGE * – Trippy as hell. This is Marvel’s kung fu movie, and I absolutely love the fact that the final battle is fought with wits and determination, not seeing who can punch the hardest.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR – again, no Infinity Stones, but besides having the best fight scene in the series up to that point, sets up so much forthcoming stuff. Also, The Black Panther! And the most adorable Spider-Man ever! (some will argue that Doctor Strange should come after this, but I just can’t make that chronology work)

FUTURE FREEX WEIGHS IN: That last comment was due to one of the cases offered to Strange over the phone that leads to his fateful crash, which seems to be a very direct reference to an injury suffered during Civil War. However, I was reminded by one of a number of YouTube blatherings that one of the threats detailed in Winter Soldier is “Stephen Strange”, which is causing me to consider slotting it before Winter Soldier. I think that actually works.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 – Skippable if need be (both the online lists I mentioned earlier did so), no Infinity Stones, but c’mon! KURT RUSSELL. Oh, and some guy named Sylvester Stallone. Character development! Mantis! I love Mantis!

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING – Skippable. Not much impact on the Infinity saga; mainly notable for the deepening father/son relationship between Tony Stark and Peter Parker, which a lot of people HATE. Nice villain work by Michael Keaton.

BLACK PANTHER – No infinity stones, but essential setup (and really, really good) (this, I believe, is where Netflix’s current offerings begin)

THOR: RAGNAROK – God bless Taika Waititi for making a movie as fully weird as the comics and honoring Jack Kirby. The post-credits scene leads directly into Infinity War, which means it happens at approximately the same time as:

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP – contains what will be important plot points, and is happening at approximately the same time as:

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR* – Man, the switch from the end of Ragnarok to the opening of Infinity War is the starkest example of “new artist this issue!” ever translated to the screen. Also best cinematic equivalent of a 12-issue maxi-series crossover event evar (also likely the only-est).

AVENGERS: ENDGAME – Ecstasy. I see people bitching about “fan service” on the interwebs and you know what? I was the fan being serviced. And I liked being serviced. *phbbbbbbt* (I mean, if you’re looking for fan disservice, you can go watch Batman v Superman again, you nattering nabobs of negativity)

By my count that’s 15 out of 22 that are essential viewing – only one more than the professionals. That’s not much of a time savings – what? maybe 12 hours? – and they really should all be watched, sez the nerd who’s already seen them multiple times.

Gosh. Maybe I don’t have writer’s block after all?

 

8 Comments

  1. A Neptunia game? Nice to see you have a solid sense of what’s fun out there. Also, I share in your Netflix laser eyes, as I started my free trial what was SUPPOSED to be 90 days but got chopped to a month (boo!) with a set of Marvel films that vanished before I could see them all (cue Thanos snapping his fingers to clear off some Cheeto dust and unintentionally wiping those flicks, oops).

    I always hated the hate the first Cap film got because (DUH!) the one who ragged on it hard didn’t see the references it was making to old 40’s serials and Joe Johnston having worked on a few important genre flicks as an artist. GotG and the sequel are superb, and yeah, Ragnarok was a total Kirby cap tip I know too many people didn’t grasp (I think a lot of the younger fans don’t even know the man’s work!).

    I haven’t done a real Marvel post in a while, but I did spoil Endgame for myself by watching the new Spider-Man trailer (oops).

    Writer’s block? What writers block?

  2. How is it that you write better than most most bloggers DURING an extended episode of writer’s block? I should suffer such a malady. Seriously, always very happy to see a new post.

  3. Did Iron Man 3 commit some egregious sin? I missed it on its first round, and it doesn’t seem to ever show up… anywhere. Netflix, various broadcast channels that have been taking the fat Marvel/Disney cash to play other films and crank up excitement, all notably free of IM3 (2, by the by, is currently in view on Netflix, at least in Canada). It’s baffling.

    Also… what kind of soulless brutes wouldn’t like the first Captain America? Even more baffling.

    • The sort of soulless brutes who would rank practically every Netflix Marvel series over it, apparently. So… Reddit, I guess.

      IM3’s scarcity – especially with 2 on display, given Netflix’ allergy to any movie exhibiting what it sees as decrepitude – is strange. I also expect the MCU movies to slowly disappear from any and all streams the closer we get to the launch of Disney +.

      • Oddly enough, maybe a year or so ago, IM3 was all over one cable channel for a while (I forget which one, but they also ran the first two Cap flicks and I think a few other MCU flicks… not in any order, from what I recall).

  4. I mostly dropped out of watching superhero movies after Avengers 2, which I saw the day after Mad Max: Fury Road and did not compare well at all, especially CGI-assisted stunt-wise (plus, Joss Whedon did one of his gimmicky writer’s tricks that ruined Serenity for me, too). Endgame finally convinced me to play catch-up, and I’ve been hemming n’ hawing on Iron Man 3. Right now, here’s my line-up:

    1. Captain America: Civil War
    2. Thor: Ragnarok
    3. Black Panther
    4. Avengers: Infinity War

    Then to see Captain Marvel and Endgame when they come out on disc.

  5. Please write soon. We miss you!


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